Lessons in mama-hood
No matter how much mama content we see on the parts of motherhood there's no explaining the little moments. There’s no way to perfectly explain the little bits of peace in between the chaos of life. No one prepares you for those times where you know you’ve created little core memories for your library to look back on once the little feet have grown and your kids are no longer babies. The feelings of those last moments before you even realize they no longer snuggle into your neck the way they first did mimicking your breath as they laid on your chest finding comfort in the sound of your heartbeat. The sound they heard from the inside while they grew.
Before becoming a mom I’ve heard “Just you wait and see” almost as if my child would come into this world as a threat to my sanity. And while it’s true being a mom is overwhelming I can’t think of a moment where I see him and think this is what they were talking about. The way our kids mirror us is not to punish us but to force us to look inward. It forces us to love that little child that was once us and show grace the grace that we so desperately needed. Becoming a mama has taught me so far that this little boy running free is a way for me to live in the moment. The laughs, the smiles, the cries, the outburst, has allowed me to sit with myself and piece together the puzzle pieces that were scattered throughout my own childhood. Coming together as a big picture and while I still reach for pieces to place the picture has never looked clearer.
My job is to heal myself, my place is to be the best mama I can be. To celebrate my babies, to encourage, guide and most importantly to grow as they grow. No longer is the day where we stay stuck in our own minds only to grow bitter at the world. Our babies need us long after the years of adolescence passes. To be seen and heard and validated. For now at this stage I’m going to soak up the cuddles like a sunflower soaks up the sun. Listen to my toddler when he speaks so excitedly about dinosaurs and the world as he sees it. Hearing his voice, his laugh, his cries and filling my cup until it pours over and onto him in a way that will allow him to grow into who he needs to be to better the world and hopefully know peace.