Let’s talk Doulas
When I realized I was pregnant there was also the realization that I had no freaking idea what to expect. When you’re growing up of course you see the women around you being pregnant, the movies and the shows that talk about pregnancy in such a vague way. When you’re actually pregnant you realize that there was really no preparation for pregnancy. No matter how much TV you watched, your parents' birds and the bees talks, documentaries or even knowing people personally. Pregnancy is such a huge topic to cover that so many women aspire to have one day and not really understand what is in store.
Speaking for myself I had a pretty good pregnancy with my son on my first go around. I had the fatigue, some nausea, some headaches, some body aches but nothing that I look back on and think I would never want to do it again. I got to nap when I was tired, eat what I wanted and for the most part it was a pretty smooth pregnancy. I decided to go with a midwife for my prenatal care and that in itself is a whole other episode which I will go into further detail very soon! There were definitely things that I found odd about my specific care provider but I’m pretty sure it deosn;t speak for every midwife. I will say I was educated on my body throughout my pregnancy and she had a wealth of holistic knowledge that I appreciate gaining from her.
I posted a podcast and video on my Call Me Mama Youtube channel with some questions that soon to be mamas should ask their providers before agreeing to go into a relationship while literally going through one of the most important journeys to your beginning of mama hood. I didn’t know better because it was my first baby and I trusted the process with the experts.
I realized the need for a doula once I was in labor. We called my hubby Daddy doula because he was amazing. Super hands on and really worked hard to keep me comfortable and also made sure to advocate for me throughout the process. It was a huge load for him to take on and I felt it took away from his experience as a father. Had we had a doula; we would have had another set of hands, another person that could have partnered with him and I and rode the waves of labor together. Being that my husband was the only person that was in my room actually assisting me with pain and thirst while also going through the experience knowing that his baby is on the other side I’m sure added to his stress levels in a way that many handson partners can relate to. There were certain things that my husband had to continuously advocate for me because it seemed as if it was falling on deaf ears and that in itself made my experience more stressful.
Doulas come with so much knowledge and can assist in speaking up for you as the patient and helping level out the feelings of the experience. A doula would have helped with the birth plan, and helped prepare me and my hubby for the understanding of informed consent. I’ve heard so many stories of mothers that felt like they didn’t have a choice and because of that their birthing experience was unfortunately super traumatic. That alone can literally be a series of stories and I truly believe that if we gave mamas better education in preparing for childbirth and everything that comes with it being prenatal care, labor and delivery, and postpartum care there would be far less traumatic birthing experiences because when you have the knowledge of your rights you’re able to advocate for yourself. It’s unfortunate that so many mamas go through this process alone and even mamahood in general is such a lonely journey and it shouldn’t be. That’s why I believe it’s so important to go back to our roots of building that mama community, that village so we have the support that we deserve. Mama hood was never meant to be done alone!